Rumination

Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” is a painting that depicts the agony of anxiety. The subject in the painting is surrounded by natural beauty - sunset over the fjords of Norway - but he’s holding his head in his hands as if he is trying to silence the noise in his head. To me, the expression on his face gives the impression that he is screaming, but no noise is coming out, the way one might experience in a nightmare.

This is the effect of OCD and the process of rumination. Rumination involves incessant, stressful, and fruitless analysis. It’s an attempt to solve unsolvable problems and an unconscious attachment to the idea that if we keep thinking and worrying, we’ll figure it all out. We may be able to rise to a higher level of consciousness and become aware that all this thinking is unhelpful, but it feels unstoppable.

It’s true that no one can stop thoughts from coming to mind, but repetitive thoughts are not the essence of rumination. Rumination is an attempt to get rid of or solve the uncomfortable thoughts/feelings by mentally searching for explanations, answers, solutions, peace of mind, etc. Rumination is a compulsive process, and that CAN be stopped.

Imagine you’re tired of the noise coming from a TV, but for whatever reason, you don’t have the ability to turn the TV off. You can either sit there, focusing on how to solve the problem, which we’ve decided in this hypothetical situation is unsolvable - the TV is going to stay on, or you can decide to focus on something else. You’re still aware that the TV is on, and of course you can still hear the noise, but your attention is elsewhere. Eventually, the noise from the TV is now just part of the background and maybe even becomes unnoticeable.

Choosing to disengage from the process of rumination is like accepting that the TV is going to stay on. You can’t control the noise in your head, but you can choose not to respond to it. You can resist attempts to answer impossible questions, and you can accept that, for right now, there are things in your life that are uncertain. You don’t have to analyze or problem-solve when you know, on a much deeper level, you’re not going to arrive at anything new. Unfortunately, this does mean that you will have to sit with a lot of discomfort. The noise from the TV doesn’t become unnoticeable immediately. Your job is to remember that discomfort is okay and that you can trust the process.